I just cut my nipple shaving
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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