giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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