I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
