I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
