On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
