i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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