Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I need to stop coming to work sober
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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