Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
