Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
