Joe is yelling at the trees again.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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