I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
