Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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