I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
