yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
