if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
