fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
