I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
