Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
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