please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
