He asked to "fluff my boner.."
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
