I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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