Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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