I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
