I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
