So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
