Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
