um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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