So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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