I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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