this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
