she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
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