I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You're a waste of cheezeits
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
