watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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