sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
