your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
