were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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