i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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