Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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