it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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