Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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