All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize