Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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