Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
