Where are you?
In a non slutty way
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize