I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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