I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
