what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
