its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
