your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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