So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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