He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
