70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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