two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
