I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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