Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
