Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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