I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
