he thought i was a dude.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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