she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
