I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
