That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
