Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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