Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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