did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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