you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
